Evryman online groups: emotional crossfit for men

Photo by Mike Sagun

Guys: Evryman is now offering free support to men around the world through online gatherings. I can't recommend it more highly for helping you deal with your shit. Especially right now.

Here's why.

I had my first Evryman experience last July, when I sat with the Oakland/East Bay group in Mike Sagun's garage. My marriage was breaking up, and I felt sad and alone. I immediately felt seen and heard in ways I hadn't before. These guys knew how to share and handle heavy emotional stuff with grace, bravery, and love.

I kept going back. And when Mike moved to Mexico, I began hosting the twice-monthly group at my house. I've told these men things I've never shared with anyone else. Every single one has listened with caring and non-judgment, and opened up to me in ways that dramatically expanded my capacity to be present. We've cried from joy, anger, and sadness alike. I love these guys deeply.

In October, I attended an Evryman Men's Emotional Leadership Training (MELT) retreat in Joshua Tree, where this photo (capturing a moment of deep connection between me and other men I'd just met) was taken.

Evryman calls this stuff emotional crossfit for a reason. It has taught me how to pay attention to what's happening in my own body. To feel my emotions and physical sensations. And to sit with other men as they do the same. We don't try to explain our feelings, rationalize them, or wish them away. We don't try to fix each other or solve each others' problems. We simply share and witness with open hearts.

Now, with COVID-19 keeping us sheltered in place, we meet in our small group online.

Every single time I sit in a Evryman circle, online or in real life, I leave feeling better and more fully alive — a better man in every way — than when I arrived.

Now for the fantastic part: Evryman responded to the pandemic by launching an online gathering place. It's free and meets frequently during the week. Anyone who identifies as a man is welcome. The groups are led by brilliant and wise facilitators like Dan Doty and Owen Marcus. On Tuesday, I was grouped with men from Florida, Idaho, Washington State, and Southern California, and within minutes we were sharing our fear, sadness, and guilt about the pandemic's impacts.

Evryman has helped me and so many other men build resilience that's serving us as we sit with the fear and uncertainty of these times. It's made me a better father, friend, and coach.

If you have any questions about Evryman, message me. Better yet, just go to the website, click on "Get Connected Today," and join either the Global Community Call or a Drop-in Group. 

It's never too late to start developing your emotional skills.